The hazards of marrying a foreigner are rarely discussed openly, yet recent tragedies show the serious risks some Filipinas face in cross-border marriages.

You may have heard some Filipinas discussing the term “afam.” This is actually a Filipino slang expression that originates from the English phrase “a foreigner,” particularly referring to a Caucasian or Western expatriate.

In the realm of dating, “afam” is frequently utilized to denote a foreigner who is perceived as attractive or desirable for romantic relationships. It is a colloquial term that reflects an individual’s preference for dating foreigners, particularly those hailing from Western countries like the United States, Europe, and Australia.

Indeed, there are Filipinas who have married afams and appear to be fortunate. These individuals are now residing abroad and enjoying the best experiences of their lives, thanks to their foreign spouses who genuinely love and value them.

However, not all afam narratives conclude positively. There are instances that result in tragedy. Over the last ten years (2016-2026), several high-profile cases involving Filipinas who were killed by their foreign partners have garnered international attention.

“These tragedies highlight the serious risks faced by some marriage migrants and overseas Filipino workers, especially in situations of isolation and dependency,” states a post from Pinas Pulse (which is actually the source of most of the information reported in today’s column). “This is not about nationality. This is about domestic violence, vulnerability, and protection gaps.”

Let’s take a closer look at some of those significant cases which hit the headlines all over the world.

Marvil Facturan-Kocjančič, 27, was allegedly fatally stabbed by her Slovenian spouse, Mitja Kocjančič, while on holiday in the resort town of Bled on December 29, 2025, merely seven days after her arrival. Prior to the incident, it was reported that the couple “had a fight.” The couple initially connected online in early 2024 and subsequently married in July.

The “prime suspect,” who allegedly had a history of mental health problems, was arrested and taken to a psychiatric hospital.

Jepsy Amaga Kallungi, 26, was reported missing in Colorado Springs in March 2019. Her husband, Dane Kallungi, aged 38, was apprehended in Albuquerque, New Mexico, in June 2021.

Dane confessed to strangling his wife during an altercation and disposing of her body in a secluded area of Teller County. Jepsy relocated to the United States in 2017 after meeting Dane online. Reports suggested that she had previously informed her family about her husband’s physical abuse.

In 2016, Thomas Robert Lane, an American from Alabama, was accused of murdering his estranged wife, Teresa Lane, who was from the Philippines. Teresa’s remains were found submerged in a bathtub filled with running water. Investigators uncovered evidence indicating that Thomas had drowned his wife by holding her down with his foot. A forensic expert concluded that Teresa had also suffered from blunt force trauma.

Mailyn Conde Sinambong, a mother of two, was murdered by her Swedish husband, Steve Aron Bakre Aalam, on September 23, 2018, in Stockholm. He admitted to the crime, as reported by Migrante Europe.

This incident occurred in 1998. Jack Reeves, a former U.S. Army officer, was found guilty of murdering his fourth wife, Emelita Reeves, whom he had met through an International Marriage Broker. Emelita had shared with her family and friends that her husband had physically and sexually abused her, and she had informed friends of her intention to leave him just one day prior to her disappearance.

The subsequent cases listed below, all occurring in Kuwait, do not involve spouses but rather employers. Nevertheless, they still illustrate the severe vulnerability of Filipinas in foreign countries:

The remains of 29-year-old maid Joanna Demafelis were discovered in a freezer in 2018. This grim finding occurred in the deserted apartment of a couple – Nader Essam Assaf, a Lebanese citizen, and Mona Hassoun, a Syrian – over a year after her disappearance. This incident triggered a diplomatic crisis between Kuwait and the Philippines. The couple was found guilty.

Jullebee Cabilis Ranara, aged 34, worked as a domestic helper in Kuwait. On January 21, 2023, she was allegedly raped, murdered, incinerated, and discarded in the desert. The son of her employer was convicted of this heinous act.

According to the United Nations Program for Gender Equality and the Empowerment of Women (UN Women), approximately 50,000 women and girls are killed each year by intimate partners or family members worldwide. In Asia alone, at least 17,400 women fell victim to femicide in 2024.

Returning to the topic of afam, the Commission on Filipinos Overseas has consistently cautioned that marriage migrants are especially at risk due to factors such as social isolation, dependence on immigration, language obstacles, financial reliance on their spouses, and a lack of local support networks.

As reported by Pinas Pulse, when Filipinas relocate overseas for love, marriage, or employment, they frequently abandon their support systems, become entirely reliant on a foreign spouse or employer, encounter difficulties in obtaining legal assistance, and are apprehensive about deportation should they report instances of abuse.